Often, when someone asks, “How are you doing?” the response can feel as mundane as scrubbing a toilet after a long day. Yet, sometimes, even a simple answer can trigger unexpected emotional reactions. For example, one friend once responded to that question with a simple, “Come on!”
That tiny statement spiraled into a series of relationship-related frustrations. She was meeting a colleague from another floor—someone she barely knew. Sometimes they went on dates. Occasionally, he would send sweet messages like, “I missed you” or “I wish you were here.” But just as often, he would withdraw, leaving her confused and wondering if she had done something wrong. She found herself replaying every conversation, every meeting, searching for the source of the problem.
This isn’t just a female experience. Men, too, often allow themselves to be manipulated, convincing themselves, “She’s so complicated and different from everyone else.” Both genders can overanalyze, looking for complex explanations when the reality is far simpler.
Here’s the truth: in 99% of these cases, it’s not your fault. The explanation for such behaviors is usually trivial. This is where Occam’s Razor, a principle introduced by philosopher William of Ockham, comes in. It states that when explaining phenomena, you should favor the simplest explanation with the fewest assumptions. In short: simpler is almost always better.
So, if someone is treating you poorly, not making time for you, or avoiding a relationship, consider these possibilities:
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They simply don’t see you as a priority.
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They don’t want a relationship.
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They are dealing with personal problems they aren’t ready to solve.
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They do care for you, but don’t know how to express it.
The key is to accept that not everyone behaves logically, responsibly, or with good intentions. Sometimes, people are simply not capable of giving what you need, no matter how much effort you put in.
Culture teaches us to always look for the good in others. Logic might suggest people have reasons for their behavior—but those reasons aren’t always noble. The idea that the bigger the challenge, the greater the reward, is not always true. Often, bigger challenges just mean more wasted time.
Think back to Alfred’s line in The Dark Knight: some people have no purpose and just want to see the world burn. He was right.
In relationships, you may find that you’re either trying too little, too hard, or in the wrong way. Some people will treat you poorly no matter what. And when you ask why, their only answer may be, “Because yes.”
Read More: How to Get a Love One Back
The Takeaway: Simplify Your Life
Love simplicity. Focus on facts instead of getting lost in emotional confusion. Ask for explanations directly rather than inventing them in your mind. Accept people as they are, without justifying their behavior or blaming yourself. Stop thinking that everything good in life requires a sacrifice. Relationships, money, or hobbies are not ancient rituals demanding extreme offerings.
If you want a simpler, happier life, stop overcomplicating it. Don’t look for difficult solutions where none are needed. If you lack challenges, create healthy ones: write an app, run a marathon, or launch a business. You’ll get tired—but you’ll see real results, and avoid wasting time chasing illusions in relationships.
