Popular culture already says: “If you don’t love yourself, who will love you?”. It may seem like a harsh and categorical statement, but it is very true, since people with good self-esteem are much more attractive (in a broad sense of the word) than those with low self-esteem.
As Oscar Wilde said “Loving yourself is the beginning of an adventure that lasts a lifetime”. Although the foundations of self-esteem are established during childhood, people are beings in constant development and this means that our self-esteem can fluctuate depending on our experiences and how they affect us. A person can enter the adult stage having grown up in a safe environment, rich in stimuli triptogether.com and with challenges appropriate to their abilities, and suddenly find themselves faced with adversity that forces them to overcome in order to get ahead. This new situation can shake your personal security, trust in others and positivity towards life, among others. We can do little about the self-esteem that we have acquired during early childhood, but we can interfere in its construction in adulthood.
Loving oneself means interpreting in an adjusted way what we really are and what we are worth . In other words, it means accepting personal limitations, wanting to improve them, and, at the same time, valuing our personal strengths.
To pave the way towards good self-esteem (there are those who love themselves little but there are also those who do it too much) focus your eyes on the following aspects:
1) How do you talk to yourself? – Love
We have all heard phrases like “Look what he said!” or “How could he have told me that!?” And, on the other hand, we have not heard or said to ourselves phrases like “Look what I said to myself!” or “How could I have told myself this!?” Often, lack of respect or understanding does not come from outside (although this is where they may have been born), but from ourselves. We could say that we maintain a constant dialogue with ourselves (even in dreams) and that the way we talk to ourselves affects our self-concept and, therefore, our self-esteem. Pay attention to the emphatic expressions
that you use towards yourself, such as: I should do…, I can’t do…, I will never find…, it always happens to me…, everything comes out…These expressions, in addition to being disrespectful and limiting us, cannot be true because they are not objective and are based on generalizations and prejudices or are based on our fears . Therefore, identify these expressions and replace them with others that are more respectful and adjusted. Remember that sometimes the strictest and most intransigent judge is oneself. triptogether
2) What do you feel? What do you want? What do you want for yourself?
You have the right to live and act according to your desires and not according to what is expected of you. You don’t have to worry about pleasing others, but rather live/act according to what you feel and think . This is not selfishness, quite the contrary. If you are not generous with yourself, the balance between giving and receiving will be broken, which will not only harm you but also those whom you wanted to please in the first place.
3) You are unique: do not compare yourself or allow yourself to be compared. – Love
Do not seek approval outside of yourself, but within. If you like and accept yourself, your power of attraction will multiply . It’s not about pleasing everyone, it’s about liking yourself and the people you want to attract. Wanting everyone to like us leads us down a path of insecurity and constant frustration. With this we do not mean that you do not have to learn and improve, but that your essence has incalculable value and that it is about evolving rather than changing . And remember that you should not compare with anyone. Comparisons are useless; just to defocus attention on you and transfer it to someone else.
4) Do not do things for others.
This does not mean that it is not okay to be supportive and generous. It means that you have to be able to choose what you want to do and what you don’t, freely. To be able to choose freely , you need to listen to your emotions, review your beliefs and set your own goals.
5) You are the one responsible for your future.
It is never too late to start making decisions that make us feel better. Don’t let fear, your own or that of others, limit you, stop you… Changes are generators of opportunities and illusions. If you want something, analyze the pros and cons and make decisions away from prejudices, false beliefs, external opinions and unfounded fears.
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6) Balance body and mind. – Love
Throughout the article we have focused on the mental part (internal dialogue, limiting thoughts, judgments, prejudices, our own and others’ expectations…), but in order to enjoy good self-esteem we cannot forget the physical part. Taking care of our body through food, sports, rest and leisure is essential if we want to enjoy authentic personal well-being.
We will end with a phrase by psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung that we trust will give you the necessary push to make the changes you consider appropriate: “Whoever looks outside, dreams; whoever looks inside, wakes up”..